Managing Myself (or lack thereof)

managing myself

I guess I’m good at managing everything but myself.

I can manage a blog (or two) like a boss.

I can manage three kids with ease (at times).

I can manage working three days a week and being home four.

I can manage the little idiosyncrasies that need managing.

But managing myself? I am all jumbled up inside, uncontrolled, barely manageable, and nearly drowning.

Is this what I thought life would be like?

Yes, to a huge extent. I have always been like this. I’ve been social and all over the place since exiting the womb (and was probably both of those things when I was inside, but they just didn’t know how much so yet). I have gotten in trouble every year at school — Jenna really needs to work on staying quieter in class — Jenna is a social butterfly who needs to work on that, otherwise she’s wonderful.. Thank you, thank you for the encouraging words.

I’m a great networker. Can I make a business out of this? Out of being a professional networker? What are they called?

Wait, that’s exactly my problem. way too many things, Jenna. way too many.

I need a chill pill. Or four. I need to stop managing everything outside of myself and take a look at the chaos inside. How do you separate and divvy up and prioritize when it’s in your heart?

How do I want to be everywhere and nowhere at once? How do I find my footing in a world that I created to make me lose my step? How do I lay the foundation back down to where I can rest easy… where I can take a break, where I can find a place, a place to chill the heck out?

How in the world did this all come about, and how do I give everything all my love all at once? How do mothers and working women and bloggers and professional networkers and humans find the peace in the jumbled bits of our hearts?

Tell me your secrets, dear friend. Tell me them all. Tell me how to repave my roads, or allow Him to, more importantly? How do I get there?

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Jenny is the founder and owner of Aventyr Kidswear, a company based out of Maine, USA. I love that Aventyr’s name is based on the Swedish word for adventure. I’m kind of obsessed with the “whys” of how a name came about, so I love that Adventure — Aventyr — is the name for a kids’ clothing line.

It all started last year when Jenny wanted to make clothes that were colorful, fun and comfortable. All of Aventyr’s garments are made in the USA! They made from organic cotton and organically grown bamboo fabrics, and the prints are “made using water-based, ecologically safe pigment ink.” <— So, so good.

You know I’m a sucker for mamas working hard at their passions, and Aventyr is no exception to that. It’s a wonderful company that you should check out.

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Jenna

Jenna is the mama behind A Mama Collective. She has three beautiful daughters who cause a lot of chaos and joy in her life. She also has a husband who is gracious and kind, and who looks away when cloth diaper mail arrives.
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5 Comments

  1. Jenna – I hear you loud and clear. For me (working full time in an office, four boys ages 7 and younger, and blogger) – I have had to learn to say “NO!” – ever so lovingly – to friends and obligations that take me away from the home. It actually (after a while) feels good to say NO! I hope you find balance and inner-peace – and when you do – please tell me how you did it! :)
    Tove M Stakkestad recently posted…Ten Ways to Improve Your “Mommy Selfies”My Profile

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  2. i agree w/ tove above – saying “yes” to God may mean saying “no” to others. saying “no” became easier as i knew myself more (as in, I know I can teach 5th grade girls SS; should i just because I can? once yes, more? no. not what God has me here for.)
    the only way i can repave my life/day is sitting still (at least five minutes??) w/ His Word – rewrite it back to Him – one sentence if that’s all you can muster on a given day. a great little nugget is Boa’s Face to Face – written to be read in five minutes – scripture in the first person.
    a great post, btw, well-written, poignant, honest.
    sue donaldson recently posted…P.O.O.E.M.My Profile

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  3. Jenna-you have such a great passion for life and everything you are involved in. Your inner “mess” also means you have great capacity to do so much. I think the key to balance and harmony is to start the day with the Lord and His word, and everything else will sort itself out–but you already know that ;)
    Nicki recently posted…Wrapping Gifts With Baby’s BreathMy Profile

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  4. Your blog has quickly become one of my favorites. Seriously, your thoughts and the way you write a post is so inspiring! I hear you with this one, I am a total mess of a person inside, complete chaos going on in my head and my heart, but in real life I can be so organized and put together!

    Tawnya

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  5. Even though I’m an introvert I’ve always been a big talker. I remember my kindergarten report card saying “Chantel talks too much”. I can relate to you on so many levels. I always have a bunch of different things going. It’s funny, I just posted about over committing, and even though I find myself with less commitments these days I still find myself filling my days because I don’t like to be idle for too long.
    I think a huge thing for me is making sure I have time in the morning to spend quietly in God’s Word, the days where I don’t take the time for it usually get off track really quickly.
    Chantel recently posted…Living a Life of Less | Stress & CommitmentsMy Profile

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