And to those accusations, to those lies, to that demeaning and horrible conversation: I have no words.
Absolutely no words for what goes through my brain when I hear those incredibly awful thoughts being said aloud. No words.
The only thing I can muster is this: If someone has ever said these lies to you (even if it’s yourself), please know, PLEASE know that your passions matter. Your dreams matter. Your project matters. Your goals matter. They matter. You matter. <– Tweet this.
I know that that has been said before. I know that. And you want to know what I’m truly grateful for? ALL of the times it’s been said before.
Because without those thoughts pulsating through my head, without every single memory of every single person who wrote those words YOU MATTER or who said YOUR STORY MEANS SOMETHING or who said LET YOUR PASSIONS SET YOU ON FIRE, I would be in the corner crying my eyes out that someone could possibly say that my passions do not matter.
Because, really, get behind me.
What I love, what I dream of, what I have a vision for, what I think about every night until I can’t possibly think anymore: These things matter. And they give me life. And they get my butt out of bed. And they put red lipstick on me and remind me that I’m alive.
With passions, with voices and smells and music and friends and strangers and cuddles and kisses and whispers and love.
So what you have to say to me — what anyone has to say to you — about ditching my dreams, about pushing my passions to the wayside — what you have to say to me means nothing.
Using this adaptation of a coffee date from Mr. Thomas and Me. Amber is amazing and I want to have coffee with her. This is a link-up with Jenna of Dearest Love and me. Join us with your post below.
Over coffee I’d tell you that I’m exhausted in so many areas of my life. That I need to cut back and step back and that instead of listing out my obligations, I want to list out my gratitude. That I want to have a heart of rest instead of a busy one and that I want to remember what it’s like to get a coffee in real life outside on my patio with my kids running around instead of working tirelessly on so many other things.
Over coffee I’d tell you that my priorities have been messed up for quite a while. You’ve been there too, right? Where you just need a good, long reevaluation.
Over coffee I’d tell you that I need to focus on the Lord. That, really, as always, none of this matters if I don’t have a solid relationship with Him. Who am I doing this all for if not for Him?
Over coffee I’d tell you that my heart is heavy in so many ways but on the same time so much lighter and free. And that freedom? It’s addicting. And I want more.
Over coffee I’d tell you that I’m focusing on reading. I’m reading books again as well as a lot of really amazing blogs: Kate J Baer, Unfancy (duh), When at Home, Letters from the Nest, Kent Heartstrings, The Wiegands, and my friend Kellie’s blog. I’d tell you that we have so much to be grateful for. And let’s drop the complaining act and the busy act and the I don’t have the time for you act. I’d tell you that I need to re-focus my attention on I have time for you.
Over coffee I’d tell you that I’m so in love with Blessed is She. And I can’t wait to make it better and better and better. I would tell you that my heart is in this ministry, and that I’m so grateful for the women who are doing this with me.
Over coffee I’d tell you that my Capsule Wardrobe post got lots of love and that surprised me. And excited me. And I can’t wait to show you all a Real Mom’s Capsule Wardrobe. Because I think it’s important for every mother, wife, sister, daughter out there to feel confident and proud. And to own a good red lipstick.
Over coffee I’d tell you that work is good. That I’m proud of my job and that I’m grateful for it. Again, I’m trying to quit the complaining game. Someone will always out-complain me. Let’s change that. Let’s, today, change the complaint to gratitude. The sentence from “I don’t like this because…” but “Wow, I’m blessed to be here because…”
Maybe? Who knows if it will work. But I’d like to give it a go.
In case you haven’t noticed, I’ve been loving on the Capsule Wardrobe idea. And in case you didn’t notice, I haven’t really explained what it is.
I always think to myself, “Someone more brilliant than me has explained it already, does someone want to hear it from me too?!”
So. This is my attempt at explaining something that’s been done beautifully before, but with a twist: I’m a mom of three toddlers.
Life with three toddlers is quite a bit different in terms of being comfortable, functional, and put together.
So, here’s my personal capsule wardrobe explanation.
I was walking out of preschool earlier in the week, wearing Lucia in my Maya Wrap ring sling, and I saw a mom who I am always in awe of how amazing she looks.
She’s the type of mom who pulls off the “I just left the gym and I’m going back to the gym” look. Like, she’s gorgeous in gym clothes. And she has awesome hair and sunglasses and tan. Basically, I want to be her.
But then she said this to me, “Good morning! You always look so put together in the morning! I’m always so impressed by you.”
Is this role-reversal? I am supposed to be saying that to you!
I was shocked. This is never something in my life that I’ve ever heard. I’ve always thrown on whatever I can find, never have cared about my hair or makeup or even if I brushed my teeth (my friends love me). But this? That is the ultimate compliment for me.
My thoughtfulness, my work, my effort (that really isn’t that much work) is paying off.
So, I have to give mad props to the Capsule Wardrobe Project. I don’t exactly know who started it, but all my kudos in the world goes to Caroline of Unfancy. She’s my idol. I mean, if I could go shopping with her, I just might die.
Here’s my problem:
I am not fashionable.
I don’t know what looks good on my body type.
I crave simplicity.
I need someone to tell me what to wear or it’s just not going to happen.
I needed the junk cleared from my closet so that I could have simple, staple, just-right pieces.
Does that sound like you? I hope not, for your own sake. I hope you love fashion and are good at it and know what looks just right on you and you don’t struggle with looking halfway decent like I do.
Do I need more energy for the things in life that matter (my husband!, my children!!, my work!).
Heck to the yes.
Enter the fact that I’m a mom, and these things matter to me even more.
So. I got to work.
And you can, too.
But, where do I start?
Again, Caroline to the rescue. She has an awesome couple of extremely resourceful posts. Here is a Free Wardrobe Planner she made a PDF of, specially for us who need the help to sit down and realize what our personal style is.
Caroline’s basic gist is to have 37 pieces for an entire season. Thirty-seven, y’all. That’s a very small amount of pieces for a whole season (and for me, really longer than that since I’m in Arizona and we don’t have four seasons).
She breaks down her Fall wardrobe like this: 9 pairs of shoes, 9 bottoms, and 15 tops. Then the remaining 4 were just enough for 2 dresses and 2 jackets/coats. But her reminder is this — it’s not about her number:
It’s about finding your personal style and what number works for you.
Again, a lot of us are moms. We need functional and beautiful. Simple and flattering. So, find your personal style, and if it matches Caroline’s (like I wish mine did), then look at her pieces and see what could work for your own personal life.